How to survive the divorce
Going through the divorce is one of the hardest things one may face. Even if all the love has gone away, and even if you know you are better off without him, breaking up is still painful. Maybe being together becomes kind of a habit and you need to put a lot of effort in quitting it. And all the memories can’t be easily erased from your mind. When things don’t work out we all get upset or even angry. It is a normal reaction to breaking up, because both of you expected something more. And all the memories, laughter and caring seems to be less meaningful than you wanted them to be. It hurts.
I’ve never been married, but have been in a long term relationship that didn’t end well. And I want to share my experience with you, I don’t know if it helps if you were married for ten years and broke up, then maybe my advice (and advice of my friends who had been in a similar situation) will seem silly. But I do hope it helps a little.
1.Getting rid of the stuff.
Throw away all the stuff that reminds him. Start with pictures. Throw away all the pictures of him or you and him. I think it is better to burn them, imagining how your feelings or rage disappears with them. Be strong, don’t regret burning them, even if they are ‘so pretty’ or ‘taken in Paris!’, they all should be gone. It is worth it. Then it is better to throw away all the gifts. Normally people don’t do that, and I keep gifts from my exes. Exes I was able to forget without efforts. If you can’t stop being mad at him or stop loving him, they all belong in trash. Not because they are bad, or he is bad – because it is easier to let it go this way. The final and probably the most pleasant thing to do is getting new furniture. If you have enough money to by new stuff of course. If you don’t – just change the interior. After you do that and get rid of the pictures, cards, old bed linen, your apartment will look different enough for you to start a new life.
By the way, if you did buy new furniture you may want to enjoy destroying the old pieces with your own hands! It depends on how mad you are at your ex.
2.Make time for social life.
Call your friend who you haven’t seen for a while because you were too busy at work or cooking for your hubby. Go to the movies with your friends or colleges. When i broke up with my ex I found myself all alone, me and most of my friends drifted apart. If you lost most of your friends too, you can easily make them in a gym or some place else. Talk more with your colleges at work, you will see that some of them are very nice people. And if you don’t have anyone to have fun with, there are a plenty things you can do by yourself. Go on a trip! Meet someone there. Have a run every morning, go to the beach, read a book in a park, keep yourself busy.
And by ‘love yourself’ I mean really REALLY love yourself. Not just say that to the girl in the mirror, prove it to yourself! When someone says you that he loves you, you want proof, right? So start making little gifts for yourself to prove your love. Go to a beauty salon, get ten couple of new shoes or do something else, something to show that you really love yourself. Make a new haircut, make a massage appointment. Make it your daily routine; you love yourself every day, not just on special occasions. We don’t like it when men make us gifts only on special occasions, do we?
Enjoy your life, don’t waste it crying.